नहीं

तुमने क्या सोचा, क्या समझा पर हम गुनाहगार नहीं 

तुमने न पूछा, ना जाना मगर हम कसूरवार नहीं 

बहुत हो गए सितम, और रोने के हम तलबगार नहीं 

हमसे मुस्कुराने को मत कहना, हमसे ना होगा, इतने अच्छे हम अदाकार नहीं 

Gum hai..

Yu to koi rishta nhi hai..
Fir bhi door jaane ka gum hai

Wo sadak, wo raat, wo chai ki dukaan
Tere bina bilkul berang hai..

Aksar tujhe kuch kehte huye ruk jaate hain
Tera haath aaj bhi mere haathon k sang hai

Maine rishta nhi joda koi
Tujhse rabt kya hai, iska andaaza hume kam hai

Teri yaadein aur chand mulakatein lekar chal diye hain hum
Fir kabhi milenge iski umeed bilkul be-dum hai..

Ye ehsaas mere tumhare beech kya hai?
Na mai hu teri aur na tu mera humdum hai..

Fir bhi door jaane ka gum hai

Ek bechaini hain, dil bhi udas hai..
Aansu nhi hain lekin aankhein fir bhi nam hain

Tujhse door jaane ka gum hai.

चला गया था वो

                                                                                                          
वही कमरा था वही लोग थे 

रोज़ाना से कुछ ज्यादा थे मगर 

कमरे की सामने वाली दीवार के सहारे उसकी तस्वीर रखी थी 

फूल चढ़े थे 

एक दिया जल रहा था तस्वीर के सामने 

कांच के ढक्कन से घेर रखा था दीपक को 

घर का दीपक मगर बुझ गया था

एक किनारे दीवार के सहारे माँ बैठी थी उसकी 

कुछ बुदबुदाती थी उसकी बातें याद कर के 

थोडा रोती फिर आंसू सूख जाते 

थोड़ी देर बार फिर रोने लगती 

एक जगह एक टक देखती रहती 

कहाँ ? पता नही 

कुछ ढूँढती रहती 

किसको ? पता नही 

फिर दरवाज़े से कोई अन्दर आता 

पहले उसके पिता फिर माँ को पकड़ के रुला देता

ढ़ाढस बंधता और चला जाता 

फिर रह जाता वही कमरा 

मगर रोज़ से कुछ ख़ामोश सा 

घर में शोर मचाने वाला चला गया था 

घर का  छोटा बेटा 

चला गया था 

छोटी सी उम्र में ही 

माँ बाप को पीछे छोड़ के 

बाप तो कुछ संभल जाता है 

माँ कभी नही संभल पाती 

२ महीने का बच्चा भी जाता है तो उम्र भर उसे याद करके रोती है 

फिर ये तो जवान था 

हर पल, हर चीज़, घर की हर बात में उसकी यादें थी 

बेटे को कन्धा देना शायद कोई बाप सोचता भी नही होगा 

उसको मुखाग्नि देकर आये वो 

भगवान् की मार से थके एक किनारे बैठे थे 

इतना हारा इतना थका उनको कभी किसी ने नही देखा 

हर रिश्तेदार, परिचित को हाथ जोड़ के आभार व्यक्त कर के 

देखते रह जाते थे वो 

वही खाली कमरा 

रोज़ से कुछ खामोश सा 

उसके जाने से खाली 

उसकी यादों से भरा

फिर रह जायेगा 

वही कमरा 

रोज़ से कुछ खाली सा 

चला गया था वो 

कभी न आने के लिए 

खामोश कर जाने के लिए 

हमेशा हमेशा के लिए 

Wo.....ya fir shayad mai

Un muskurati aankhon ka haal kisi ne na jana
Uss rote huye dil ki khair kisi ne na poochhi
Uss patthar dil mei jhank kar kisi ne na dekha 
Raat bhar royi huyi aankhein kisi ne na dekhi

Kya dard hai jo ladta hai us'se raat bhar
Kya dard hai jo aankhein chhupaati rahi umr bhar
Kya dard hai jo lab tk kabhi aaya hi nhi
Kya dard hai jo aaj tk koi samajh paya hi nhi

Har aas us'se judi, use dard hi deti hai
Har nazar uski taraf uthi, use tod hi deti hai
Wo sawal jinka jawab uske khud k pas hi nhi
Vo khamoshi jo uski rooh ko jhanjod hi deti hai

Dhoondti firti hai wo ek shant si jagah
Par har jagah usse bs shor sunayi deta hai
Ye shor jo humesha uske saath hota hai
Ye shor jo kahin aur nhi uske andar hi rehta hai

Khud se bhagte bhagte duniya kahin peechhe hi reh gayi
Beete palon ki yaadein magar usmein hi kahin reh gayi
Akelepan mei ye parchhaiyan use darati hain
Use kheench k beete dino mei le jaati hain

Khud se ladayi itni aasan nhi hoti
Umr guzar jaati hai mushkil aasan nhi hoti

Haar k bhi khud se haar jaate hain
Jeete to bhi khud ko hi hara k jeet paate hain..

Mee and my Chulha Maggi :)

I have been to my hometown Garhwal, Uttarakhand few days back. It is Heaven on Earth. I travelled so many places in India (you can read my love for nature and places I visited in one of my blog http://joshimeenu.blogspot.in/2013/02/nature-and-mee_27.html), but Garhwal is the most beautiful place I have ever been to and no, I am not being biased with this sentence. Name of my village is Basola. It is said that before going to Badrinath, Lord Vishu stayed some time in our village. Hence the name Basola (kyuki Vishuniji kuch samaye ke liye yahan बसे they). We have a small Badrinathh Temple in our village which is the only temple in village. And my parents and other villagers say that a Snake and a Lion are often seen near temple in night(not everynight :P).

It is very rural area. Least developed what you can imagine. Though electricity reached my village few years back but it is not a continuous supply of electricity. It is mountain area, there is no scarcity of water. We have ample of lakes, waterfall, rivers, but one has to walk minimum a kilometer to bring potable water on hilly roads keeping a gagri made of copper metal over ones head. And proper water connection to each house is just a couple of years old. Even LPG cylinder and Gas stove is not available at every house.

The purpose of this blog post was not to describe the positive and negative aspects of my village but about something else. As every one of us know how the condition of Badrinath is and Kedarnath this monsoon is. While my visit was also in monsoon but our area was not affected from the natural disaster. It was raining but without causing any problem. But on the third evening of our visit, mee and my bhabhi were sitting in our open yard, facing towards our house. Bhabi said, "achanak se, river ki aawaaz kuch zyada hi clear sunayi dene lagi" (yes, we could hear river flowing hundreds meter below mountain absolutely clear, sitting at our house, and I tell you it is heavenly feeling). I looked around and saw rain reaching towards us from the mountain behind our house. I told bhabi, “Arey, river ki aawaaz nhi, hai wo dekho baarish aa rahi hai.) We immediately ran inside house, after taking all the clothes from clothesline at the end of yard.

It rained cats and dogs whole night. Mee and my family went worried. Pictures and videos of Badrinath and Kedarnath showing on news channels suddenly started to make us more uncomfortable. It was still raining in the morning. Chachiji told me that she is going to bring some fresh vegetables from our farm, which is 200 mt. away from house. I stopped her and forbade her to go out in rain. Rain in mountains can be very dangerous. Nobody knows from where land would slide while you are walking on it or you slip on stones.  She asked then what would she cook for breakfast. I thought and told her you don’t worry chachiji and let’s prepare Maggi. J

I asked her to light the chulha, yes the earthen stove, cut onions and tomatoes and cooked 18 packets of Maggi on chulha. I was feeling as if I am preparing Maggi for whole baraat. Eating Maggi in gaon, while it was raining heavily outside, was tremendous feeling. Suddenly Maggi tasted more delicious than ever.

So, this was story of “Mee and my Chulhe wali Maggi”

Eyes!! Voice of your heart and soul..

Eyes, most important part of our body. Not only because they help us to see things, but actually they help us to express ourselves. When we are sad, it is clearly expressed with our eyes. No matter how much we try to hide that sadness behind our plastic smile, eyes say it all.

Similarly, happy eyes. If we are happy no matter how much we try to hide the excitement, it is easily expressed through our eyes.

And also the anger, we can use only our eyes and no words to let anyone know that we are angry on them.

Now, this is how we express our self in front of people we know, without using words.

But, we meet hundreds of strangers every day, while going to or coming back from office, in shopping malls, at milk booth, at shops of Sabzi wallah, or while eating our favorite junk food at favorite food joint so on and so forth. And everyone have beautiful eyes. Do you try to read those eyes?

I do.

Observing people is one of my favorite pass time while travelling into metro or buses or in any public transport or sometimes when mee and my friends sit in a food court of any mall or at any food joint we observe people from far. What must be they talking or thinking?

Ok!! Let’s start what I feel.

When I start for office in the morning, it is very early morning to most of the people. And many of you again sleep after watching time in your mobile clock.

At that early hour when I get into metro I see many of the people like me, who forcefully have dragged their asses out of bed and made a way to bathroom and have stood under the shower to make the remaining sleep vanished from their eyes. J Sleepy (head) eyes. No matter how much kajal, eye liner or mascara you apply, that redness in eyes tells that you didn't sleep well in night.

Then, there are some super excited people whose eyes always sparkle with the dreams they hold. And I love that spark and always pray to God, to make this spark forever into their eyes that may lead them to the life of their dreams.

Some girls I met, with most beautiful eyes. Fish shaped eyes like we see in statues of Durga Maa during Durga pooja and you not only mesmerized when you see them, but feel very difficult to shift your gaze from them.

And there are some, whose eyes are forever angry eyes I guess. And while talking to them you feel that may be I have done some mistake that made them angry. But this is the normal aspect of their eyes.

Also there are some wicked eyes that you never want to talk to or at least I avoid them and never trust those people. Yes, eyes are what I trust more than words.

And there are some people whose eyes reflect energy and spirituality. They transfer that energy to you when you look into them. You feel relaxed and calm even when you are in trouble.

The most dangerous eyes are who usually don’t express what is going through their heart and head. One needs lot of practice and experience to achieve this. Bosses are best example. ;)  While some learn this to hide their pain.

Have you ever noticed eyes of kids? They look so naughty and shine all the time. And when they smile to you, it is priceless. Without uttering a word you can scare toddlers with your eyes and they try to impress you with innocence in their eyes.

And the stressed eyes; had argument with saasu maa, parents forcing for marriage,, bad day in office, missed deadlines, didn't get desired appraisal, broken dream, failed in exams, wife don't want to live with parents, had fight with g/b friend, I hate my job, eyes. On the verge of crying, looking at space, lost into their own world. You can feel the pain in their eyes.

If you are meeting someone for the first time, talk while looking into their eyes, better if you look into their eyes while listening to them, you will realize how much truth is in their talks. But beware, there are chances you may fall in love with those eyes and its truthfulness.

Once me and a friend were discussing something and I asked, “I have never seen any of your photographs in specs”. He replied, “I remove specs while posing for camera because more than my lips I smile with my eyes.” Well, this is true. I remember I told another friend of mine once that a smile is not true until it reflects into your eyes.

And at the end I wanted to post all those eyes from my real life which I described here but then it is not a good idea. ;)

I remember one shair here: 

Itni der tak dekhte rahe wo meri aankhon mei

aur fir kehte hain k kuch kaha kyu nhi..

Happy eyes observing!! J

They kill themselves

When one gets tired of trying,

when all they left is crying,

When things don’t turn their way,

At the end of tunnel when they don’t find any ray,

When dying seems easy

then living unwanted and unsuccessful,

When they start living life

which everyday becomes more painful,

They kill themselves.

No one wants to end their life,

Everyone fights for everything till they survive,

No one wants to lose from failure,

Everyone wants to enjoy life with pleasure,

But, when dreams shatter,

People betray,

Life gets tough,

And they get depressed,

They kill themselves.

When one has nobody to share,

When one gets no response of any prayer,

When their hard work goes in vain,

When they can’t see themselves in more pain,

After days of noise inside them,

They calm themselves,

To find peace in another world,

They kill themselves.